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  #1  
Old 07-26-2006
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PT-The Italian Commie PT-The Italian Commie is offline
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Wink The ITALIANS.

Okay, the Germans are right: we are PARASITES

Okay, our French "cousins" are right: we have MAFIA.

We are Italians, with our good and bad sides.

But, BUT, at least...

- We don't have nazi-like unspeakable names like LOTHAR, GUNDAM, CRASFGRANDAR.

- We don't have Viking-style blonde moustaches.

- We don't carry bread under our armpits when we walk, because it's not hygienic.

- We don't wear socks with sandals, because it SUCKS.

- Our "cuisine" might not be "nouvelle", but at least our portions are human-sized and not parrot-sized.

- We have our share of good wine and good beer too, but we don't go around pissing off other people saying that we are the world's best.

- We don't have pimp-style furry steering-wheel-covers on our cars.

- We might as well be PARASITES, but we don't occupy Tuscany and the Emilia-Romagna coast every given Summer expecting to find wurstels and krauts on the beach or road indications written in two (or more) languages.

- Our women (well, mostly) don't have late-1980s or pornstar-alike platinum blonde hairstyles, as well here the permanent has been banned as well as the slip bath-costumes.

- Yeah, that's true, our football players spit and piss off the opponents and play rough, but they don't head-hit the adversary players, and if they do nobody dares to prize them as a tournament's best players..

- If one of our player gets disqualified for 5 matches because he has hit an opponent at the face with an elbow smash, nobody shouts "that's a scandal!", neither if the TV film was not officially authorised. Max that can happen, one swears God for the disqualify, and that's the whole deal.

- We don't boast ourselves worldwide for a moddafocking rusty metal tower.

- When an Italian happens to have to move abroad, give him 6 months and he'll speak the new language better than many "natives". When a fucking crook (ooops, German) comes in Italy, lives in Italy, eats and drinks in Italy, and drives a fucking Italian FERRARI F1 car for 6 years, max that he'll do, he'll learn ENGLISH!

- Michel Platini, "Le Roi", was French, but played soccer in Italy. Zinedine Zidane, "L'Imperateur", is French, but achieved his fame playing in Italy. Thierry Henry and Patrick Vieira played soccer in Italy. The question is: is there any fucking Frenchman that can learn playing soccer without having to come to Italy for it?

- When we loose a match at the Penalties, that's BAD LUCK. When we win it, that's VENGEANCE. And it tastes SWEET...

- We might as well be a Country with many divisions and contradictions, but we NEVER had a wall, and we don't have false-French from Maghreb, Algeria and Tunis who take every occasion to destroy shop windows and cars and burn down entire "Banlieues".

- We have PIZZA. It's delicious, and the entire world envies us for it.

- The OMELETTE is just a fucking fried egg.

- Would you dare to compare a German WURSTEL with a SOPPRESSATA from Calabria?

Yeah, yeah, I know, I might as well go on forever. Our social and cultural differences are so much. You know, we might as well play to find out or invent new ones to be added to the list.

But that's enough and okay by now. It's just the beginning. We have four more years of time to do what in which we, Italians, are doubtlessly the undisputed World Champions:
FUCK!!!!!!
---
A note for the French and the Germans around: No rancor, okay?
This is just the translation of a rant written in Italian that was published on the Web after the Italian victory at the Soccer World Championship in response to the many German and French insults we have been targeted of since the half-finals of the tournament. It's written under an Italian point of view, so many Americans might not understand it completely (a French, being at least as "Mediterranean" as us, might get it better).
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  #2  
Old 07-26-2006
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Wink And here is another rant...

...written after the Soccer World Championship, to give the Frenchmen a taste of their own Chauvinism.

School homework: report about FRANCE

-Geography-
France confines north with the Northern Sea and Belgium, West with the Atlantic Ocean, South with the Mediterranean Sea, Andorra and Spain, Easw with Luxembourg, Germany, Switzerland and the WORLD CHAMPIONS.

For just a few kilometers, he doesn't has on its territory the highest mountain of Europe, the MONTE BIANCO ("Mont Blanche"), which is in ITALY

-History-
France has had one of the best military leaders of History, Napoleone Bonaparte... who was of ITALIAN origins. For the rest, it has at least nuked a handful of shithole Polinesian islands.

-Economy and others-
France is famous for:

-Monna Lisa... which is ITALIAN.
-Monica Bellucci... who's ITALIAN.

Furthermore, France is famous for its cheese, which comes only past the Italian ones; for its wine, whose quantity and quality is second only to the Italian ones; and for the fashion industry, that's second only to the Italian one.

-Sport-
Basket: 3rd place at the last European Championship after 52 years from the last time it went between the first 3.

Volley: a couple mid-sized ones.

Cycling: not a single decent bycicle runner since JALABERT.

Tennis: the only serious French tennis player is a woman.

They are indeed very proud of their national Soccer team, that's composed by:

- Zinedine Zidane... who's ALGERINE.

- Lillian Thuram... who's from GUADALUPE.

- David Trezeguet... who's from ARGENTINA.

- Jean-Alain Boumsong... who's from CAMEROON.

- Patrick Vieira... who's from SENEGAL.

- Claude Makelele... who's from CONGO.

- Florent Malouda... who's from GUYANA.

-Food-
They eat frogs, but lately they've gone a little bit further, swallowing a lot of .......
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  #3  
Old 07-26-2006
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Well aren't we just full of it today.
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  #4  
Old 07-26-2006
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Angry

Thanks I appreciate your racism...

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  #5  
Old 07-27-2006
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PT-The Italian Commie PT-The Italian Commie is offline
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Talking

Quote:
Originally Posted by Roger
Thanks I appreciate your racism...

HEHE...

No, seriously now.

I didn't wanted to offend. Better explain myself further.

What you read up there is the translation in English of two well-written rants published on an Italian Humour website, to celebrate the victory at the Germany 2006 Soccer World Cup, which was against ALL odds, 'cause many members of the Italian press and Italian National Soccer League themselves didn't thought it possible. What you find there is not "racism". Possibly, Italy is one of the LESS racist Countries in the world, and I have personally nothing against the French, the Germans, the Arabs, the Israelis or the Americans.
But we feel pissed off when we are insulted.
What you read there is an after-victory reply to many articles that appeared on several French and German sports magazines and newspapers, some of them even of high European and World profile like the French "L'Equipe" and the German "Kicker"; those texts, several times published on the front page wth an high profile, were extremely insulting and referred openly to the Italians as the "Rats", the "Italian parasites", and the "Mafia mobbers".

In my humble opinion, the texts I have translated above are highly POLITE and GOLIARDIC, and could be VERY VERY much more offensive if the authors would have wanted to do anything else than a mild LEG-PULLING on the Germans and the French (just an experiment: come down here in Summer and take a look around in the streets of Rome, Naples, Milan or Florence: you will recognize IMMEDIATELY the German tourists, from how they dress up and behave, and ESPECIALLY from the fact that they wear WINTER SOCKS under SUMMER SANDALS!). Roger's reaction is like Zidane's head hit to Materazzi. What happened is that Materazzi was pulling Zidane's shirt during a very tight tackle, when the action ended Zidane said to Materazzi "If you like my shirt, I'll give it to you after the Match", and Materazzi sardonically replied "No thanks, I'd better take your sister's".
It's clearly an out-of-proportion reaction (speaking of... ). It's just a little bit picking the mickey. Being called "Rats", "Parasites" or "Mafia mobbers" on high-profile Mass-Medias is much worse.
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"It is criminal to teach a man not to defend himself, when he is the constant victim of brutal attacks. It is legal and lawful to own a shotgun or a rifle. We believe in obeying the law." -- Malcolm X

"We (atheists) act in good conscience because we believe in moral principles, not because we expect a reward in Heaven." -- Margherita Hack

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  #6  
Old 07-27-2006
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PT-The Italian Commie
... Roger's reaction is like Zidane's head hit to Materazzi. What happened is that Materazzi was pulling Zidane's shirt during a very tight tackle, when the action ended Zidane said to Materazzi "If you like my shirt, I'll give it to you after the Match", and Materazzi sardonically replied "No thanks, I'd better take your sister's".
It's clearly an out-of-proportion reaction (speaking of... ). It's just a little bit picking the mickey. Being called "Rats", "Parasites" or "Mafia mobbers" on high-profile Mass-Medias is much worse.
Now young people find it natural to be insulted and of saying insults on the family: not me.
I think that I'm a good man but when a guy says to me "motherfucker" I become violent, old mentality may be...
If Materazzi (this good boy) did not do anything of evil why he was condemned for to cast a slur to honour ?
Zidane: 3 matchs suspended and a fine of 4800 Euros / Materazzi: 2 matchs suspended and a fine of 3600 Euros.
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