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Old 04-29-2007
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Default Yea I know PT It belongs in the humor section

I pilfered this off another forum.I bet TJ could tell similar storys


Was after dark here in Tucson and I had gone out to the store to pick up a few things. On the way back and coming into the neighborhood I see a black Lincoln Navigator with NY plates stopped in the middle of the road and a couple of guys out in front of it. I’m thinking they may have hit one of the coyotes I had seen on the way out. I get out and walk over and see a rattler laid out in the road, looked to be about 3 feet long. It was just stretched out enjoying the warm pavement probably wondering what in hell the three jokers were up to. So snake charmer #1 is saying, ‘hell I used to catch these things all the time when I was a kid. I’ll show you how it’s done.” Now I’m thinking, shit why don’t I have my video camera. Did I mention the odor of intoxicants emanating off these two. Oh yeah! This was going to be good. So snake charmer #1 in crock hunter style stealthy approaches rattler from the rear. He reaches down to grab the tail and WHAMMO rattler nails him right on the hand. Damn, those critters are fast! Snake charmer #1 says FUCK! The sonofabitch got me. Now rattler is really pissed. He’s coiled up and buzzing away to beat the band. Snake charmer #2 chimes in. “You dumb bastard, you don’t grab them by the tail, you got to get them behind the head. Here let me show ya”. OH FUCK ME this is going to be good. Dammit I’m keeping a video camera in the car at all times after this. Snake charmer #2 then proceeds to approach the pissed off native waving his left hand out to the side apparently to get the snakes attention while he grabs the snake behind the head with his other hand. Bwahahahahhahah. Even his buddy is telling him this might not be a good idea. Snake charmer #2 makes his move. WHAMMO rattler nails him on his forearm. SHIT! He says looking at his arm. While he’s admiring the snakes handiwork WHAMMO snake nails him again on the same arm. The dumb shit was still bent over from trying to grab him the first time. Bwahahhahah. He takes the hint and backs up a few steps. Rattler is still coiled up and buzzing. I swear he was looking at me daring me to take a try at grabbing him. Little does he know I would have just run over his ass in the road and kept going. I tell the two snake charmers they should let mr. snake be and get their dumb asses to the hospital.

As this point another car screeched to a stop behind mine and the driver jumps out, comes running over. I see it’s my neighbor from down the road. He later told me when he saw us all in the road he thought I was getting into it with the other two and he just wanted to watch the show up close. I told him these two were demonstrating some snake handling techniques. He says “ Anybody bit yet?” I say, “yup, him once and that one over there twice”? No shit? He says and starts chuckling. Hey stud, he says to the guy wearing a big old pinky ring, you better get that ring off before your arm swells up to the size of you leg and they have to cut your finger off. Hell you may lose the arm anyway. Last seen the two were headed for the hospital a couple of miles away. They say that most snake bites are alcohol related. This would seem to support that premise. Jesus what a show.

Oh yeah, neighbor took a stick and flipped the still pissed off rattler to the side of the road.
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