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Old 05-13-2006
Dolphin_Shooter's Avatar
Dolphin_Shooter Dolphin_Shooter is offline
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 617
Default Today ,I upset the balance of nature

Today, I upset the delicate balance of nature by my heavy-handed intrusion. To make things worse, it involved an internal combustion engine.

As I was cutting the front lawn with my push-mower, a green grasshopper jumped up from it's hiding place between the cool grass leaves and flew to another location. Unbeknownst to the grasshopper, an alert mockingbird was carefully observing the scene from his vantage point on an overhead powerline. The mockingbird, doubtless looking for protein to feed its hatchlings in the nest, swiftly flew down and, crushing the unfortunate grasshopper, flew to a tree branch to devour it live.

The noise of the mower drowned out the tiny green cries for help and also contributed to the eventual hearing loss of the unfortunate bird as it flew near the clattering of the engine.

Additionally, several red ant mounds were wantonly bludgeoned of their crowns by the uncaring rotating mower blade, mercilessly exposing the thousands of white pupa to the blazing noonday Florida sun, their sensitive outer membranes further assaulted by the un-catalytically-converted Briggs and Stratton exhaust.

Had it not been for my clumsy intrusion into this pristine nature preserve, the grasshopper would have lived to a ripe old age, siring thousands of progeny, doubtless evolving into sentient creatures in the next millenia. But alas, now they are snuffed out. And the ants, whose only crime was to work so hard to make a better life, setting an example for lowly humans by living in a commune and in a dense housing complex so as to avoid 'sprawl'. I'm typing through tear-blurred eyes.

I will be turning myself in to the local PETA office later today.

Oh! The animality! The insectery! The shame!

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Old 05-13-2006
RustyBayonet's Avatar
RustyBayonet RustyBayonet is offline
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Location: England
Posts: 81
Default You should be ashamed...

....using a petrol mower! so enviromentally unfriendly, do they not have electric ones where you come from huh huh
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Old 05-13-2006
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PT-The Italian Commie PT-The Italian Commie is offline
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Oh, Internet, will you ever stop being so funny?
"It is criminal to teach a man not to defend himself, when he is the constant victim of brutal attacks. It is legal and lawful to own a shotgun or a rifle. We believe in obeying the law." -- Malcolm X

"We (atheists) act in good conscience because we believe in moral principles, not because we expect a reward in Heaven." -- Margherita Hack

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Old 05-13-2006
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Bacon Guy Bacon Guy is offline
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Default *snif*

Oh, the Huge Manatees!!!

"Conservative, n, A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal, who wishes to replace them with others."- Ambrose Bierce's "Devil's Dictionary (1911)"

If you can't beat them, join them. Then beat them. Barring that, arrange to have them beaten.
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