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Old 02-29-2008
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Dolphin_Shooter Dolphin_Shooter is offline
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 617
Default Glad my wife hasen't thought of this

> The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting
> loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife & the
> smell would make her eyes water & make her gasp for air. Every morning
> she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making
> her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it & that it was perfectly natural.
> She told him to see a doctor, she was concerned that one day he would blow
> his guts out. The years went by & he continued to rip them out!
> Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner &
> he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the
> turkey innards & neck, gizzard, liver & all the spare parts & a malicious
> thought came to her.
> She took the bowl & went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep &
> gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband
> of his underpants & emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
> Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting
> which was followed by a blood curdling scream & the sound of frantic
> footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control
> herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After
> years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.
> About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his
> bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face.. She bit her
> lip as she asked him what was the matter.
> He said, 'Honey, you were right.. All these years you have warned me & I
> didn't listen to you."
> "What do you mean?" asked his wife.
> "Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out,
> & today it finally happened.... But by the grace of God, some Vaseline,&
> two fingers, I think I got most of them back in!"
"Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a delusional illogical liberal minority and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous liberal press which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."
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