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Old 06-13-2006
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TJ TJ is offline
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Default How about those Clintons

Bill, Hillary and Vice President Gore were on their way back to Washington on Air Force One, when Bill said " I'd like to drop a $100 bill out of the plane and make one person very happy".
Hillary thought for a moment then replied "Id rather drop ten, $10 bills out and make ten people very happy".
To which Vice President Gore said " I would drop a hundred $1 bills out and make a hundred people very happy".

The pilot then spoke up and said " Why don't all three of you jump out and make 250 million people very happy?"

Another one?
Bill and Hillary Clinton go to a Yankees game together. They had VIP seats in the first row. All of a sudden, a secret service agent comes up to Bill and whispers in his ear. A few seconds later, Bill grabs Hillary and throws her out onto the field! The SS agent comes running back to Bill and says, "Mr. President, sir, I think you misunderstood me. I said throw out the first pitch."

One more?
Three Boy Scouts, in uniform, were fishing in a boat one day when they heard cries for help. They followed the sounds and found another boat capsized as a man struggled to keep his head above water. Being Boy Scouts, they went to his aid and fished the man out.
As it turned out, the man was Bill Clinton. The president toweled himself off and caught his breath, and thanked the three scouts. He asked if there was anything he could do for them.
"I'd sure like a tour of the White House," the first scout said.
"No problem," said Bill. "How's next week?"
"I'd sure love to go for a ride in Air Force One," said the second scout.
"We'll leave aboard her tonight," Bill replied.
"I'd like to be buried in Arlington National Cemetery," said the third.
"I'm sure we can arrange that," said Bill. "But son, you're awfully young to be worrying about that, aren't you?"
"You don't know my Dad," the scout replied. "When he finds out I helped save your life, he's gonna kill me!"

Had enough?
One day Bill Clinton was talking to Hillary. He was going on a vacation and before he left said, "Whatever you do don't look under my bed." So while Bill was on vacation Hillary got curious and decided to look under his bed. She found a million dollars and 2 empty beer cans. When Bill came home she said, "What's with the two beer cans under your bed?" Bill replied, "Oh. That marks all the times I've cheated on you." "Well, I forgive you," said Hillary, "But then what's with the million dollars?" He replied, "I've started to recycle."
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Old 06-13-2006
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TJ TJ is offline
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Default One more, I'm on a roll

At a meeting for peace negotiations George Bush and Saddam Hussein were in Baghdad and when George sat down in the conference room he noticed Saddam with three buttons on the arm of his chair. After a few minutes Saddam pressed the first button and a boxing glove sprung up and hit George square in the jaw. In the spirit of peace George decided to ignore this and continued talking until Saddam pressed the second button and a wooden bat swung out and hill George in the chin. Saddam started laughing. But again George ignored this and continued. A minute later George saw Saddam press the third button and he jumped in the air. But a big boot sprung out and hit him in the balls. George had decided he had enough of this and when home.

Three weeks later the peace negotiations were re-scheduled in Washington and as Saddam sat down in Georges conference room he noticed George had three buttons on the arm of his chair. A little while after they started talking Georgel pressed the first button but nothing happened, George started giggling. They continued to talk then George pressed the second button, Saddam moved but again nothing happened. Saddam was getting a little jumpy and George was laughing even harder. A few minutes later George pressed the third button and stared pissing himself but like the others nothing happened. Saddam had enough of this, stood up and said, "That's it! I'm going back to Baghdad!" to which George replied "What Baghdad?"
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Old 06-13-2006
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Bacon Guy Bacon Guy is offline
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Default Did someone mention the Klintoons?

"Conservative, n, A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal, who wishes to replace them with others."- Ambrose Bierce's "Devil's Dictionary (1911)"

If you can't beat them, join them. Then beat them. Barring that, arrange to have them beaten.
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