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Old 06-21-2006
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CeeTee CeeTee is offline
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Default Technology hits the corner

Walking down Sunset Blvd Tom meets his best friend Karl.
- "Hi Karl, what's up? You are not in your best shape, are you?"
- "Is it so evident? My arm is hurting badly. I got to see a doc."
- "Well..." - says Tom - "I wouldn't do that. There's a new computerised gadget in the drugstore by St. Marcus Sq. that diagnoses anything much faster than any doctor. You just have to drop in a sample of your own urine and insert ten bucks. The machine prints out the diagnoses and the solution for your problem."
- "I don't know, Tom. I will think about it. See you tomorrow at Elaine's."
A few hours later, Karl decides to take a chance. After peeing into a bottle, he drives to the drugstore. The brand new machine was there. He dropped the sample through the front opening and placed in the 10.00$.
It took a few seconds to get a ticket:

<<Problem : You've got a tennis elbow.
<<Solution: Apply warm bandages every night and don't stress your arm. It will be ok in a couple of weeks.

Karl was very impressed. Driving back he started to think about the changes that this machine would bring to the world-wide medical assistance. But he was sceptic as well, and started to imagine if that machine could be cheated.
After getting home, Karl got a bottle and collected in water from the toilet bowl, shit from his dog, urine samples from his daughter and wife. At the end he masturbates and ejaculates inside the bottle.
He then drove back to the drugstore and poured the stinking cocktail inside the machine. Put in the 10.00$ and waited a short while to get the answer:

<<Problem : Your toilet has got hard water.
<<Solution: Try with a descaler.

<<Problem : Your dog got fleas.
<<Solution: Wash it with a good dog shampoo.

<<Problem : Your daughter is cocaine addicted.
<<Solution: Take her to a rehabilitation unit.

<<Problem : Your wife is pregnant. Two females. You're not the father.
<<Solution: Call a lawyer.

<<Problem : You've got a tennis elbow.
<<Solution: Stop wanking, if not your arm will drop off.
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Old 06-23-2006
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TJ2 TJ2 is offline
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