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Old 06-24-2006
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CeeTee CeeTee is offline
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Default Russian astronaut

After the Berlin wall was down, America invited one russian astronaut to partecipate on a orbiting mission.
Russia sent their very best man.
In the spacecraft there were two seats and the russian took the left one.
Few minutes before take off, a cage was lifted to the door level and a monkey came out to take place on the other seat.

Russian = translation: "F... monkey! Yeah. It must be an experiment"

The shuttle run the engines and gained orbit.
After a couple of hours, some unusual vibrations were coming from the structure and the HQ control center analized the matter.

Loudspeaker = "Message for the monkey, message for the monkey! There's a short circuit in sector number nine stabilizator. Go there and fix it"

The monkey immediately unlatched the seatbelt, took the electric plans and some instruments. Then floated to sector nine. After some searching and working, returned the documentation and the devices to their original position and latched himself back near the russian fellow.
After a minute the HQ control center replied:

Loudspeaker = "Message for the monkey, message for the monkey! The short circuit is over. Well done"
Russian = translation: "What a f... monkey! But when it's my turn, I'll do much better than that"

The mission boringly proceeds for more than four hours when suddenly, a blasting noise was heard.

Loudspeaker = "Message for the monkey, message for the monkey! A hydrogen leakage is detected in sector number twelve. Go there and fix it"

The monkey unlatched the seatbelt, took the hydraulic plans and some tools. Then floated to sector twelve. Started the leakage search and after few minutes got back. Returned the stuff and sat again near his fellow.
After a minute the HQ replied:

Loudspeaker = "Message for the monkey, message for the monkey! The leakage is over. Well done"
Russian = translated: "What a f... f... monkey! I'll show what I'm capable of when my turn comes"

Everything was running fine until a message came from HQ control center:

Loudspeaker = in russian: "Message for the russian, message for the russian!"
Russian = translated: "Finally it's my turn!" not translated: " Perestroika!"
Loudspeaker = in russian: "Feed the monkey and DON'T touch anything!!!"

../ct
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