This Day in History

Daily Cartoon provided by Bravenet

  #1  
Old 11-08-2006
UZI4U's Avatar
UZI4U UZI4U is offline
Super Moderator
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: San Antonio, Texas.
Posts: 890
Default Attention Tyler Durden

You should be aware you are under trial in a Security Arms Court-Martial.

The charges are as follows:

Count 1, Rebelious Violation of a Forum Elders Edict.

Count 2, Creating a New Username to Evade Banning.

Count 3, Rebelious Violation of a Forum Elders Edict, Second Offense.

Count 4, Claiming a Constitutional Right to Speak on Others Private Property.

Count 5, Acting in a Mannar Counter to the Private Ownership of Firearms.



Do you have anything to say in your defence?

You should be advised, you do not have to speak in your own defence. You may also seek the counsel of the SecurityArms Elder acting as your defence before you speak, or have him speak for you.
__________________
Am Yisrael Chai!
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 11-09-2006
UZI4U's Avatar
UZI4U UZI4U is offline
Super Moderator
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: San Antonio, Texas.
Posts: 890
Default

The defendant is a guilty bastard. He should be tar and feathered, permabanned and then have his email signed up on every gay-dating service on the internet as a hot 26 year old man looking for action.

The prosecution rests.
__________________
Am Yisrael Chai!

Last edited by UZI4U : 11-09-2006 at 02:38 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 11-09-2006
Mk23 Mk23 is offline
Super Senior member - Has no life and spends a lot of time here
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 320
Default Uzi...

As the defense, I would like to submit that I am completely screwed as for any idea to proclaim my clients innocence in any way shape or form.

But as his poorly done mockery of the word 'defence' shows, which is no more or less valid a spelling than 'grey' is, instead of 'gray', or 'colour' is instead of 'color', this man is clearly not operating at average mental capacity for an adult, and I therefore submit that he be tried as an infant, or a minor at the very least if it pleases the court.

I would also like to submit a plea of completely batshit insane, more to further distance myself from my client rather than alleviate his penalty, as of course the court is aware, there is only one penalty for the charges brought forth.

And if it also pleases the court, I would very much like to take an aspirin, and go lay down somewhere with a cold pack on my forehead, as the gross overuse of legal jargon I have just demonstrated has proven to bring about headaches in my person.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 11-09-2006
JCoyote JCoyote is offline
Super Senior member - Has no life and spends a lot of time here
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Choctaw, OK
Posts: 615
Send a message via AIM to JCoyote
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tyler Durden
You forgot "driving down the block to pick up on somebody elses Wireless to circumvent your "Secure"Arms forums banning.
You do understand, anything you say can and almost certainly will be used against you in a humorous way to prove your innate idiocy. Like, for example, burning evil polluting fossil fuels in order to drive to a different location to steal access to change IP addresses to evade a ban that was only directed at your screen name.

I'll also assume that you had the owner of that network's permission to use his/her bandwidth, because unauthorized access into networks is illegal, and seeing you break the law, to circumvent something you didn't need to, to evade a ban that was TEMPORARY, would be just too fucking funny for words.
__________________
propa·gandist n.

A person convinced that the ends justify the memes.

Last edited by JCoyote : 11-09-2006 at 02:34 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 11-09-2006
PT-The Italian Commie's Avatar
PT-The Italian Commie PT-The Italian Commie is offline
Super Senior member - Has no life and spends a lot of time here
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Sardinia, Italy
Posts: 2,611
Default Oh, S**T...

Your Honour, I ask to be dismissed from the jury.
__________________
"It is criminal to teach a man not to defend himself, when he is the constant victim of brutal attacks. It is legal and lawful to own a shotgun or a rifle. We believe in obeying the law." -- Malcolm X

"We (atheists) act in good conscience because we believe in moral principles, not because we expect a reward in Heaven." -- Margherita Hack

Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 11-09-2006
JCoyote JCoyote is offline
Super Senior member - Has no life and spends a lot of time here
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Choctaw, OK
Posts: 615
Send a message via AIM to JCoyote
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tyler Durden
I drive a hybrid so I get the first 50 miles on efficiently produced electricity

"Efficiently produced" does not mean no fossils were harmed in the creation of said energy, it just means you hired someone else to burn them and then transfer the energy to you via powergrid, but I won't hold you responsible for the people who live under the high tension lines. You still wasted fuel and hurt the environment for a completely and utterly unnecessary reason. The fact remains you went above and beyond all necessity in pursuing posting in violation of a ban to the extent it had repercussions on the environment and the price of fuel, raising it so working class people will find it that much harder to afford the fuel to buy groceries for their children. You heartless bastard.

Your attempt to distract the process by pointing out actions of other people are of no consequence, your actions are being considered in contrast to your own supposed beliefs.

There is evidence of multiple levels of idiocy and hypocrisy working in a premeditated way to the detriment of your fellow man for the purpose of pointless self aggrandizement and ego.

1. Guilty
2. Guilty
3. Guilty - in an utterly, pointlessly idiotic way
4. Guilty - Freedom of Speech only allows you to create your own fucking board, not be a jackass on everyone else's. That no one would visit your personal board is irrelevant.
5. Guilty - See below

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tyler Durden
I wonder if guns make you violent or if violent people are drawn to guns? Amusing either way.
Which is an indication of personal perspective...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tyler Durden
Yes I have guns
Which in light of the other statement, and Tyler's "legal or not" advocacy of action against our president on several occasions, points to Tyler believing his own guns have made him violent... or he was drawn to them because he was violent. Either way, continuing to allow Tyler to be a jackass in the presence of a firearms board does him a disservice as he has stated perpetuation of violence in his own personality interrelated with firearms. I can only conclude, that given Tyler's obsessive posting and harassment of this board, that he cannot help himself in his obsessive compulsive drive to interact with firearms and experts on them. So we must take the first step and help him, by locking him out of this board in hope that he will seek counseling for his own self perpetuating cycle of violent obsession before it hurts himself or others.

It might seem cruel, and I'm certain his withdrawal symptoms will drive him to attempt to circumvent things, but we must stand firm in this if we really want to help Tyler with his issues.
__________________
propa·gandist n.

A person convinced that the ends justify the memes.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 11-09-2006
Dolphin_Shooter's Avatar
Dolphin_Shooter Dolphin_Shooter is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 617
Default Ahh leave him alone

Sure he is a

But what the hell he keeps you guys sharp and quick whitted, hell the best exchanges i've read in a long time have been posted under his threads,Leave the little homo alone.he's a great source of entertainment..
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 11-09-2006
Bacon Guy's Avatar
Bacon Guy Bacon Guy is offline
Super Senior member - Has no life and spends a lot of time here
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: i pwn n00bs
Posts: 309
Default Hey dickbreath...

Other than your little pal PT (who likes you so much he never acknowledges you), you are the ONLY one who has ever advocated violence. The fact that you directed it at the President of the United States sort of invalidates the "I was only kidding", or "I was provoking you guys, and you fell for it! LOLOLOLOLO!!1111!!" defense.

Do guns, or do they not, have a talisman-like ability to make people violent? If they do for people you see as your lessers, then they must for you as well. Human nature is the same for all of us, like Muslims and Jews are no different, right? Those are just two of the insinuations you've made, and then slipped out of justifying when the tables were turned.

Correct, or not?
__________________
"Conservative, n, A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal, who wishes to replace them with others."- Ambrose Bierce's "Devil's Dictionary (1911)"



If you can't beat them, join them. Then beat them. Barring that, arrange to have them beaten.

Last edited by Bacon Guy : 11-09-2006 at 10:00 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 11-10-2006
UZI4U's Avatar
UZI4U UZI4U is offline
Super Moderator
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: San Antonio, Texas.
Posts: 890
Default

The prosecution moves to have the defendant treated as a hostile witness.
__________________
Am Yisrael Chai!
Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:29 AM.


Powered by vBulletin Version 3.5.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright SecurityArms.com 1995 - 2009